04 Apr Finding My Integrity
By: Lifebook Member Jessica Simko
Lifebook could not have come at a better time for me. For six years I had been with the same organization as a Director of Human Resources. Four of those years were pretty good, but the last two were really bad. It had gotten to the point where my family my life was being affected in every way possible. I could not function anymore. I spent all my evenings and weekends dreading the next time I had to go to work. Realizing I could not continue to live this way, I made the very difficult decision of resigning in an effort to get my life back. I didn’t have another job lined up, but I didn’t care. I wanted my life back.
My first week off work I had the wonderful opportunity to spend four days at Lifebook, really analyzing my life. It was such an eye opening experience for me. While I knew my job wasn’t good for me, I had not identified exactly what my struggles were – until we went through the Character category.
What I had not realized was that living a truly authentic life meant being who you are, wherever you are. While working on the Character category, I had the sad and scary realization that I had spent the last six years of my life being somebody I was not. I spent the bulk of my waking hours at work being the person that others wanted and needed me to be. I had to “pretend” to have certain interests and opinions just to be able to maintain my position in the company. Whenever I tried to express some of my true opinions, I became painfully aware that I could not have those opinions if I wanted to keep my place on the senior management team. I had to conform myself to what I was supposed to be and not who I truly am; and I did.
For six years, I was one person at work and a different person at home. I didn’t even realize that this conflict in my character was the root of my unhappiness. When you can’t be who you truly are, you start wondering if who you are isn’t good enough. These thoughts began my downward spiral into a very unhappy place.
This realization alone has given me immense clarity in my life. I now know exactly who I want to be and how I want to live my life, and I will never sacrifice myself for anybody or anything ever again. While the realization that I did sacrifice myself for so many years was eye opening, I was eternally grateful to be able to acknowledge the fact and to make a completely different plan for my life going forward.
After leaving my Lifebook Session, I have spent a great deal of time working on my Lifebook and making it my reality. I feel better about myself now than I ever have! I finally have ME back! I feel so good that I can now give the authentic ME back to family and friends as well.
My goal going into Lifebook was simply to help me clarify my life going forward. I had no idea that I would come out of it with a completely different outlook on life. I now feel fulfilled about who I am as a person and, thanks to Lifebook, I am living a truly authentic life and loving every minute of it!